Wanted - Invisible Leader for Underground Populist Data Acquisition Organization
Must have European 'James Bond' meets 'Scandinavian Spy' meets 'Andy Warhol' art school elegance.
Almost perfect English helpful, but retains mysterious accent.
With a straight face, must be able to claim no knowledge of stolen sources as effectively as Ronald Reagan and Contra.
Must prefer free speech, yet himself may hide any and all skeletons, picadillos, whores and rape conquests. Supporters will hush these as important, less essential than freedom of speech.
Remember, we need a figure head, not an active leader. Hackers will do the real work.
No women need apply, thank you. We are proudly a misogynous organization. We use women; we do not let them lead.
With a title like that to a blog post, you might thing I am implying Illinois is an ethical state. Naturally, it is known that it is ethical, though which system it plays by is not clear.
With the Madigan Dynasty beginning, the Daley Dynasty ending, the string of corrupt or screwed up governors, a sitting United States president who barely worked in the Senate before campaigning full-time, a former Chief of Staff who quit midway into the admistration to begin his own non-corrupt mayoral bid, Reverend Jesse Jackson and Son and their mistresses, and a essentially bankrupt state --
Wait? Did I imply a state with bad ethics?
No, we, the City of Big Shoulders, want to lead the State of Illinois to look more like Detroit, MI or New York, NY with a dash of New Orleans, LA.
We are corrupt. No one believes Barack Obama is tainted with Chicago corruption, naturally, having only served briefly before his White House campaign began, but most everyone realizes we bribe, lie, steal to get things done. It isn't just the unions, priests, corporations, and paperboys who are suspect. Everyone. Blago is just the voice of a corrupt generation. Dare we call him guilty? Well, yeah, if that's the verdict.
Good thing is not "the Giannoulias seat." And definitely not Hillary's seat. No one wants to see that.
Rod and Robert Blagojevich lived happily on Democraticus Corruptus, the fourth moon of Pluto, the body of land formerly known as a planet. Rod, ever the wise brother, saw his planet soon being recalled by the Astro Naming Committee. Something about brake pedals not working, and concerns whether or not Armando Galarraga's game was properly named 'perfect'. (Baseball was very popular in the DC).
Noting the trouble Toyota had recently been in, Rod left for Earth and assumed a human physical body. However, limited into his access of information, thanks to the many light years difference in distance, all Rod saw were images dating back to the 1950s. Elvis Presely was the most famous, the most popular human, and was singing "I'm All Shook Up." Rod thought this Elvis guy was the quintessential human. Hence, the hair.
Meanwhile, poor Robert was lonely back on their home moon. The Democraticus Corruptus leadership, a brotherhood (even the women were referred to as brothers there, being a genderless society), only worked with relatives. Rod was gone, leaving Robert brotherless, and as they say in his world, "Screwed since you ain't a Daley."
Robert, seeing that Rod had left for the world of "All Shook Up," decided too to come down. The warrring party against Democraticus Corruptus, the usually impotent Republicus Pieceacrappus, calls this a "the Blagojevichian Shakedown." People on Earth would pay the Blago Brothers money to stop. Even their messiah, the Barack Obama, left the state, unwilling to hear their tune.
Wanted - Invisible Leader for Underground Populist Data Acquisition Organization' meets 'Scandinavian Spy
With a title like that to a blog post, you might thing I am implying Illinois is an ethical state. Naturally, it is known that it is ethical, though which system it plays by is not clear. 
was the most famous, the most popular human, and was singing "
." Rod thought this Elvis guy was the quintessential human. Hence, the hair. 
