Executive Speechwriting: Corporate, Weddings, Retirement

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Rod Blagojevich Reports to Prision Video

Rod Blagojevich Reports to Prision Video

No joke.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Blago Gets 14 Years

Rod Blagojevich was sentenced to 14 years. If he serves his full term, he will be released in 2025.

By then, one of Mayor Daley's kids will be in charge, Sarah Palin will be facing off Hillary Clinton for the White House, and the Democrats will blame George W. Bush for whatever is the trouble of the moment. Rush Limbuagh will point fingers with Jon Stewart, because both will have lost their voice, and the Simpsons TV Show will be tying up another great season.

Blago Sentenced

As Rod Blagojevich is being sentenced, he asked that important question:

"Do I get to sing "Jailhouse Rock? Can I keep my Elvis Presley hair?"

The judge, amused, stood up, and dueted the song with him. The prosecutors were not amused, feeling this only gave them a bad name.

And somewhere, Michael Madigan is humming the same tune, grateful he is nowhere near a jail.

Meanwhile, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn is delighted, knowing he really never would have gotten this job any other way.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Rod Blagojevich Gets New Illinois License Plate

No doubt anticipating his next move, Rod Blagojevich applies for, and gets his Illinois license plate. He slipped former Governor George Ryan a few bucks to make it happen.


 
(repost, but this time, it looks closer to truth)
funky Search Amazon.com for license plate stuff on Amazon. Take a look.

Blagojevich Jurors Have Reached Partial Verdict


Some say Rod Blagovich has nice hair, but they were beaten to a pulp by the GHU (Good Hair Union, Local 123). Passersby just walked on by, staring, singing Elvis songs.

Regarding the other two counts, the jury is holding for decorum's sake.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Blagojevich Trial: The Tragedy of Macbeth: SCENE V. Dunsinane. "Full of Sound and Fury"

"The prosecution of Rod Blagojevich is “a tale of sound and fury, signifying nothing,” a lawyer for the former governor told the jury during opening statements at his retrial, quoting Shakespeare and touching on a key theme for the defense."
The Tragedy Of MacbethThe Tragedy of Macbeth: SCENE V. Dunsinane. Within the castle.: Full of Sound and Fury
The Tragedy of Macbeth (free for Amazon Kindle)
The Tragedy of Macbeth (paperback)
The Sound and the Fury: The Corrected Text (William Faulkner novel)

MACBETH
She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Enter a Messenger
Thou comest to use thy tongue; thy story quickly.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

WikiLeaks Leader Wanted

Freedom for the Thought That We Hate: A Biography of the First Amendment
Wanted - Invisible Leader for Underground Populist Data Acquisition Organization
  • Must have European 'James Bond' meets 'Scandinavian Spy' meets 'Andy Warhol' art school elegance.
  • Almost perfect English helpful, but retains mysterious accent.
  • With a straight face, must be able to claim no knowledge of stolen sources as effectively as Ronald Reagan and Contra.
  • Must prefer free speech, yet himself may hide any and all skeletons, picadillos, whores and rape conquests. Supporters will hush these as important, less essential than freedom of speech.
  • Remember, we need a figure head, not an active leader. Hackers will do the real work.
  • No women need apply, thank you. We are proudly a misogynous organization. We use women; we do not let them lead.
Search Amazon.com for WikiLeaks

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Illinois: The State Money Couldn't Buy

Shakedown: Exposing the Real Jesse Jackson
Shakedown:
Exposing the Real Jesse Jackson
With a title like that to a blog post, you might thing I am implying Illinois is an ethical state. Naturally, it is known that it is ethical, though which system it plays by is not clear.

With the Madigan Dynasty beginning, the Daley Dynasty ending, the string of corrupt or screwed up governors, a sitting United States president who barely worked in the Senate before campaigning full-time, a former Chief of Staff who quit midway into the admistration to begin his own non-corrupt mayoral bid, Reverend Jesse Jackson and Son and their mistresses, and a essentially bankrupt state --

Wait? Did I imply a state with bad ethics?

No, we, the City of Big Shoulders, want to lead the State of Illinois to look more like Detroit, MI or New York, NY with a dash of New Orleans, LA.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

We Are Corrupt (Not Barack Obama, But Everyone Else)

We are corrupt. No one believes Barack Obama is tainted with Chicago corruption, naturally, having only served briefly before his White House campaign began, but most everyone realizes we bribe, lie, steal to get things done. It isn't just the unions, priests, corporations, and paperboys who are suspect. Everyone. Blago is just the voice of a corrupt generation. Dare we call him guilty? Well, yeah, if that's the verdict.

Good thing is not "the Giannoulias seat." And definitely not Hillary's seat. No one wants to see that.


See What's in a name? Would 'the Obama seat' by any other name still have a smell to it (Chicago Triibune)
Brokers, Bagmen, and Moles: Fraud and Corruption in the Chicago Futures Markets

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Rod Blagojevich is from Democraticus Corruptus, Fourth Moon of Pluto


The Chicago Tribune's article gets part of it right. Blagojevich brothers' relationship under scrutiny: Attorney for Robert Blagojevich says his client just wanted to be closer to brother.

Missing from their article is why.

Our Solar System (Planetary Information) Art Poster Print - 36x24Rod and Robert Blagojevich lived happily on Democraticus Corruptus, the fourth moon of Pluto, the body of land formerly known as a planet. Rod, ever the wise brother, saw his planet soon being recalled by the Astro Naming Committee. Something about brake pedals not working, and concerns whether or not Armando Galarraga's game was properly named 'perfect'. (Baseball was very popular in the DC).

Noting the trouble Toyota had recently been in, Rod left for Earth and assumed a human physical body. However, limited into his access of information, thanks to the many light years difference in distance, all Rod saw were images dating back to the 1950s. Elvis Presely was the most famous, the most popular human, and was singing "I'm All Shook Up." Rod thought this Elvis guy was the quintessential human. Hence, the hair.

Meanwhile, poor Robert was lonely back on their home moon. The Democraticus Corruptus leadership, a brotherhood (even the women were referred to as brothers there, being a genderless society), only worked with relatives. Rod was gone, leaving Robert brotherless, and as they say in his world, "Screwed since you ain't a Daley."

Robert, seeing that Rod had left for the world of  "All Shook Up," decided too to come down. The warrring party against Democraticus Corruptus, the usually impotent Republicus Pieceacrappus, calls this a "the Blagojevichian Shakedown." People on Earth would pay the Blago Brothers money to stop. Even their messiah, the Barack Obama, left the state, unwilling to hear their tune.

Elvis Presley


John Travolta (Elvis Presley) - All shook up


Chicago Tribune
Subscribe to the Chicago Tribune on Kindle Chicago Tribune

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Kelly Kills Himself Apparently

Death, like life, is for sale. Coward convict Christopher Kelly looked at his days gambling and dancing feloniously with Rod Blagovich and self-euthanized.
Kelly, a roofing contractor from Chicago's southern suburbs, had already pleaded guilty to $1.3 million in tax fraud and swindling two airlines in connection with $8.5 million in contracts for work on their hangars at O'Hare International Airport. He had been sentenced to three years on the tax charge and had signed a plea agreement under which he was to be sentenced to five years in the O'Hare contracts case. Those were to be served consecutively. source: Washington Post
A loser pretending to have class, all he ended up doing is showing himself to be a quitter. One more corrupt thug sells his soul, and dies realizing he never had one.

No one ever respects a corrupt official, especially in Democratic stronghold Illinois where corruption is a way of life. No one respects a suicide monkey either.

Republicans have Betty Loren-Maltese back in the news, though. She's the former mayor of Cicero, Illinois. More corruption. She needs a job, so if your toilet is dirty, look her up.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/14/AR2009091403309.html

Monday, August 10, 2009

Rod Blagojevich Invokes Elvis' Ghost

Sometimes, there's nothing that can be added to make something funnier.

Illinois, as most know, is the land of corrupt politicians. Most recently, they put a president in the White House. Barack Obama has yet to be indicted for any crimes, but mostly, in Illinois, it never happens anyway. Republicans are feeding the jail population as much as Democrats, so no one is left of out of the fame of shame.

Rod Blagojevich initates a bad Elvis impersonator.



In case you prefer the Elvis Presley version of "Treat Me Nice"

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Senate Seat Back on Market

Senate Seat Back on Market
Underused, yet worn from much sitting. Present owner named cannot handle continued use. May require repair and thorough cleaning. Scandal-stink discovered and will be leeched out. Prefer to sell to part of the Chicago Machine. Experience not necessary. Will trade for favors and a draft pick yet to be named. Attorney Generals not welcome.

Senator Roland Burris to Retire, Won't Seek a Full Term

Maybe they'll use:
OdoBan - 128oz jug & 24oz bottle