Showing posts with label Illinois. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Illinois. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Blago Sentenced

As Rod Blagojevich is being sentenced, he asked that important question:

"Do I get to sing "Jailhouse Rock? Can I keep my Elvis Presley hair?"

The judge, amused, stood up, and dueted the song with him. The prosecutors were not amused, feeling this only gave them a bad name.

And somewhere, Michael Madigan is humming the same tune, grateful he is nowhere near a jail.

Meanwhile, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn is delighted, knowing he really never would have gotten this job any other way.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Rod Blagojevich Gets New Illinois License Plate

No doubt anticipating his next move, Rod Blagojevich applies for, and gets his Illinois license plate. He slipped former Governor George Ryan a few bucks to make it happen.


(repost, but this time, it looks closer to truth)
funky Search Amazon.com for license plate stuff on Amazon. Take a look.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Blagojevich Trial: The Tragedy of Macbeth: SCENE V. Dunsinane. "Full of Sound and Fury"

"The prosecution of Rod Blagojevich is “a tale of sound and fury, signifying nothing,” a lawyer for the former governor told the jury during opening statements at his retrial, quoting Shakespeare and touching on a key theme for the defense."
The Tragedy Of MacbethThe Tragedy of Macbeth: SCENE V. Dunsinane. Within the castle.: Full of Sound and Fury
The Tragedy of Macbeth (free for Amazon Kindle)
The Tragedy of Macbeth (paperback)
The Sound and the Fury: The Corrected Text (William Faulkner novel)

MACBETH
She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Enter a Messenger
Thou comest to use thy tongue; thy story quickly.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

We Are Corrupt (Not Barack Obama, But Everyone Else)

We are corrupt. No one believes Barack Obama is tainted with Chicago corruption, naturally, having only served briefly before his White House campaign began, but most everyone realizes we bribe, lie, steal to get things done. It isn't just the unions, priests, corporations, and paperboys who are suspect. Everyone. Blago is just the voice of a corrupt generation. Dare we call him guilty? Well, yeah, if that's the verdict.

Good thing is not "the Giannoulias seat." And definitely not Hillary's seat. No one wants to see that.


See What's in a name? Would 'the Obama seat' by any other name still have a smell to it (Chicago Triibune)
Brokers, Bagmen, and Moles: Fraud and Corruption in the Chicago Futures Markets

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Kelly Kills Himself Apparently

Death, like life, is for sale. Coward convict Christopher Kelly looked at his days gambling and dancing feloniously with Rod Blagovich and self-euthanized.
Kelly, a roofing contractor from Chicago's southern suburbs, had already pleaded guilty to $1.3 million in tax fraud and swindling two airlines in connection with $8.5 million in contracts for work on their hangars at O'Hare International Airport. He had been sentenced to three years on the tax charge and had signed a plea agreement under which he was to be sentenced to five years in the O'Hare contracts case. Those were to be served consecutively. source: Washington Post
A loser pretending to have class, all he ended up doing is showing himself to be a quitter. One more corrupt thug sells his soul, and dies realizing he never had one.

No one ever respects a corrupt official, especially in Democratic stronghold Illinois where corruption is a way of life. No one respects a suicide monkey either.

Republicans have Betty Loren-Maltese back in the news, though. She's the former mayor of Cicero, Illinois. More corruption. She needs a job, so if your toilet is dirty, look her up.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/14/AR2009091403309.html

Monday, August 10, 2009

Rod Blagojevich Invokes Elvis' Ghost

Sometimes, there's nothing that can be added to make something funnier.

Illinois, as most know, is the land of corrupt politicians. Most recently, they put a president in the White House. Barack Obama has yet to be indicted for any crimes, but mostly, in Illinois, it never happens anyway. Republicans are feeding the jail population as much as Democrats, so no one is left of out of the fame of shame.

Rod Blagojevich initates a bad Elvis impersonator.



In case you prefer the Elvis Presley version of "Treat Me Nice"

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Barack Obama to Roland Burris: One Soul Was Not Enough

Barack Obama, disappointed the value of his Illinois Senate Seat only drew a paltry $S.ss (one soul, in US dollars, with no change), he has asked Roland Burris to return it.

The trouble, the value has further dropped, and the buyer will need to toss in manhood as well to confirm the purchase. Immediately, this brought to mind Hillary Clinton. She is an expert carpetbagger, but already has take a position, thanks to Kelly Temporary Services' secretary division. There was some confusion in the matter, as she is Secretary of State. Jesse White thought she wanted his job, and offered her a
driver's licence to lay off. Husband Bill Clinton reminded him he was unsuccessful with the same thing.

Meanwhile, Mr. Burris continues his "I'm not listening" tour, which involves press avoidance, lies, malarkey and Oprah watching. Burris has declared he has no intention of returning the seat.

Not unexpectedly, MSNBC is delighted to report that Illinois Democrats still believe he might be innocent. They said that about Rod Blagovich too, and so all results are favorable. Their circle will not go unbroken.

Democrats Give Burris the Benefit of the Doubt

Peoria democrat Dave Koehler says before accussing Senator Roland Burris of any wrong doing an investigation should be done.
Eric Clapton : Before You Accuse Me - Live London 2008


Friday, January 30, 2009

Pat Quinn Claims the Pillage, Sleepage and the Dopage in Illinois


The spoils of Illinois' governor war are going to Pat Quinn. A Democrat claiming to be anti-machine, his political Ludditism will be put the the test immediately in a state known more for its machine than its integrity.

Though a Roman Catholic by faith, no one expects his religion to make a difference in his leadership; he is divorced, a Democrat and a lawyer. Faith has not impacted his public life this far. Abortion laws are not expected to change accordingly.

The headaches he inherits will produce the need for much pillage, as well as sleepage.

Former Governor Rod Blagovich recommends the following products that helped him sleep well, starting with House and Philosophy: Everybody Lies (The Blackwell Philosophy and Pop Culture Series). "What Quinn needs to do is think about his health. I run every morning, and found only the fittest reporters could catch me. Be on the lookout for wiretaps."

... ... ... ... ... ...

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sold - Barack Obama's Senate Seat (Recently Off the Market)

Sold - Barack Obama's Senate Seat (Recently Off the Market)
Democrats, finding themselves more negotiable, have purchased the Barack Obama seat. First put on the market by sometime governor and Senate real estate agent Rod Blagovich, it was quickly taken off when Democrats realized Blagovich was not asking enough.


The price was not disclosed, but it is rumored they gave it away in trade for votes to be named later, and possibly a key to executive bathroom, as many became sick during the transaction.

Not Found Here
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/senate_burris

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Sale Pending: Illinois Senate Seat - Roland Burris Expected to Stand, or Sit on Dirty Floor

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is expected to give Barack Obama's vacated Senate seat to former state attorney general Roland Burris. With the present economy, and Illinois gambling revenue's down, the price appears to be free.

Mr. Burris is not expected to actually get the seat. All 50 sitting Democratic senators signed a letter by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada warned Blagojevich after his Dec. 9 arrest that Senate Democrats would not seat anyone the governor named to the seat.

They, instead, will make Burris stand, or sit on the floor. Burris was warned that the floor is dirty. Mops, he was reminded, were all used up during George Ryan's era, and are either broken or stained red.

Good wooden chairs are being used, said Reid, to print money in a recycling/laundry effort. Green initiatives are import to Democrats, so they are printing as much green as possible.

Republicans are overjoyed since this makes their time on the couch look good.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Rod Blagojevich Gets New Illinois License Plate

No doubt anticipating his next move, Rod Blagojevich applies for, and gets his Illinois license plate. He slipped former Governor George Ryan a few bucks to make it happen.


Monday, December 15, 2008

Need Temporary Senate Seat Holder: Yes Man Wanted

Need Temporary Senate Seat Holder: Yes Man Wanted
For Limited Time Only: Senate seat. Will pay minimum wage while full-time replacement can be found. Must be Democrat, Illinois resident, willing to have asterisk next to name throughout career. No real power or responsibility, but will have good parking spot in otherwise insignificant parking lot. Boss will likely changed at least once. Skills needed: ability to smile, carry documents with confidence and capacity to duck reporters whenever you hear those two fateful words "Rod Blagojevich." Be able to type 50 words a minute.

Please send resumes and names of relatives presently in Chicago politics:
Lt. Governor Pat Quinn
State Capitol
214 State House
Springfield, IL 62706
Phone: 217-782-7884
Fax: 217-524-6262

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Join Facebook: Senate Seats for Sale: Rod Blagojevich, George Ryan, Hillary Clinton

Lend your support to squash the corruption of George Ryan, Rod Blagojevich and the astounding divisive politics elsewhere.

Join on Facebook: Senate Seats for Sale: Rod Blagojevich, George Ryan, Hillary Clinton

Lost: Special 1992 Edition 'The Year of Women' Senate Seat.

Found posted on a telephone post next to Fast Louie's Pawn Shop:

Lost: Special 1992 Edition 'The Year of Women' Senate Seat Seat rumored to be cursed, as all parties to sit in it find their rear burnt. Used to vote against legendary 'Defense of Marriage Act,' then subsequently divorce. May include signed playing cards of veteran Nigerian dictator Sani Abacha. Former owner now hawks coffee, tea and spice.

If found, please return to

Carol Moseley Braun
c/o
Ambassador Organics™
1634 E. 53rd St.
2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60615
773-288-3700

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Late Night Blagojevich Roundup - Video of Leno, Letterman, Kimmel

Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel and Dave Letterman on the Illinois Governor s arrest.



Rod Blagojevich Jay Leno Jimmy Kimmel David Letterman Barack Obama arrest Senate seat e-bay

Sale Ended: Governor George Ryan's Going Out of Business Sale

Sale Ended: Governor George Ryan's Going Out of Business Sale
Big Illinois sale. Everything must go. Rackets (tennis and otherwise), government licenses, truck driving licenses and much more. Ethics tossed in as free bonus, though resale value is minimal (not listed in Blago's Blue Book).

Need refund? Contact Federal Inmate Number 16627-424, Federal Correctional Complex, Terre Haute, IN, or the present majority owner.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

For Sale: Barack Obama's Senate Seat (IL)

For Sale: Barack Obama's Senate Seat (IL)
Rarely used. Decent condition. Slight smell of tobacco.
Historic (president elect once sat there).

Stained.

Call Illinois Governor Ron Blagojevich
c/o Office of Governor Ron Blagojevich
207 State House
Springfield, IL 62706
Phone: 217-782-0244 or 312-814-2121