And the Verdict Is?

Mostly hung. Not Rod. The jury.

We Are Corrupt (Not Barack Obama, But Everyone Else)

We are corrupt. No one believes Barack Obama is tainted with Chicago corruption, naturally, having only served briefly before his White House campaign began, but most everyone realizes we bribe, lie, steal to get things done. It isn't just the unions, priests, corporations, and paperboys who are suspect. Everyone. Blago is just the voice of a corrupt generation. Dare we call him guilty? Well, yeah, if that's the verdict.

Good thing is not "the Giannoulias seat." And definitely not Hillary's seat. No one wants to see that.


See What's in a name? Would 'the Obama seat' by any other name still have a smell to it (Chicago Triibune)
Brokers, Bagmen, and Moles: Fraud and Corruption in the Chicago Futures Markets

Rod Blagojevich is from Democraticus Corruptus, Fourth Moon of Pluto

The Chicago Tribune's article gets part of it right. Blagojevich brothers' relationship under scrutiny: Attorney for Robert Blagojevich says his client just wanted to be closer to brother.

Missing from their article is why.

Rod and Robert Blagojevich lived happily on Democraticus Corruptus, the fourth moon of Pluto, the body of land formerly known as a planet. Rod, ever the wise brother, saw his planet soon being recalled by the Astro Naming Committee. Something about brake pedals not working, and concerns whether or not Armando Galarraga's game was properly named 'perfect'. (Baseball was very popular in the DC).

Noting the trouble Toyota had recently been in, Rod left for Earth and assumed a human physical body. However, limited into his access of information, thanks to the many light years difference in distance, all Rod saw were images dating back to the 1950s. Elvis Presely was the most famous, the most popular human, and was singing "I'm All Shook Up." Rod thought this Elvis guy was the quintessential human. Hence, the hair.

Meanwhile, poor Robert was lonely back on their home moon. The Democraticus Corruptus leadership, a brotherhood (even the women were referred to as brothers there, being a genderless society), only worked with relatives. Rod was gone, leaving Robert brotherless, and as they say in his world, "Screwed since you ain't a Daley."

Robert, seeing that Rod had left for the world of  "All Shook Up," decided too to come down. The warrring party against Democraticus Corruptus, the usually impotent Republicus Pieceacrappus, calls this a "the Blagojevichian Shakedown." People on Earth would pay the Blago Brothers money to stop. Even their messiah, the Barack Obama, left the state, unwilling to hear their tune.

Elvis Presley


John Travolta (Elvis Presley) - All shook up



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Kelly Kills Himself Apparently

Death, like life, is for sale. Coward convict Christopher Kelly looked at his days gambling and dancing feloniously with Rod Blagovich and self-euthanized.

Kelly, a roofing contractor from Chicago's southern suburbs, had already pleaded guilty to $1.3 million in tax fraud and swindling two airlines in connection with $8.5 million in contracts for work on their hangars at O'Hare International Airport. He had been sentenced to three years on the tax charge and had signed a plea agreement under which he was to be sentenced to five years in the O'Hare contracts case. Those were to be served consecutively. source: Washington Post

A loser pretending to have class, all he ended up doing is showing himself to be a quitter. One more corrupt thug sells his soul, and dies realizing he never had one.

No one ever respects a corrupt official, especially in Democratic stronghold Illinois where corruption is a way of life. No one respects a suicide monkey either.

Republicans have Betty Loren-Maltese back in the news, though. She's the former mayor of Cicero, Illinois. More corruption. She needs a job, so if your toilet is dirty, look her up.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/14/AR2009091403309.html

Rod Blagojevich Invokes Elvis' Ghost

Sometimes, there's nothing that can be added to make something funnier.

Illinois, as most know, is the land of corrupt politicians. Most recently, they put a president in the White House. Barack Obama has yet to be indicted for any crimes, but mostly, in Illinois, it never happens anyway. Republicans are feeding the jail population as much as Democrats, so no one is left of out of the fame of shame.

Rod Blagojevich initates a bad Elvis impersonator.



In case you prefer the Elvis Presley version of "Treat Me Nice"

Senate Seat Back on Market

Senate Seat Back on Market
Underused, yet worn from much sitting. Present owner named cannot handle continued use. May require repair and thorough cleaning. Scandal-stink discovered and will be leeched out. Prefer to sell to part of the Chicago Machine. Experience not necessary. Will trade for favors and a draft pick yet to be named. Attorney Generals not welcome.

Senator Roland Burris to Retire, Won't Seek a Full Term

Maybe they'll use:
OdoBan - 128oz jug & 24oz bottle

Blago Guest Stars in 'Rod Blagojevich Superstar'

Usually this space exaggerates just a little. Not this time.

Blago Guest Stars in 'Rod Blagojevich Superstar'
Ousted Gov. Rod Blagojevich appears as himself in a comedy show that lampoons the rise and fall of his own political career.

CHICAGO - Ousted Gov. Rod Blagojevich doesn't seem to mind being the butt of a theatrical joke.

Blagojevich got in on the joke Saturday evening, appearing as himself in a comedy show that lampoons the rise and fall of his own political career.

He opened The Second City's "Rod Blagojevich Superstar," a parody of the rock opera "Jesus Christ Superstar," standing on a chair with his arms raised as if he were being crucified.

The show -- which portrays Blagojevich as greedy, tactless and hair-obsessed -- opened in February and was supposed to end June 14. But production officials extended it to Aug. 9 due to constant sold-out performances.

Limerick for a Couple of Crooks

Limerick for a Couple of Crooks

There once was a crook from Chitown.
Would sell his mother on downtown
So when it came to his seat,
he'd thought money he'd greet.
Instead he got caught in a shakedown.

Barack Obama to Roland Burris: One Soul Was Not Enough

Barack Obama, disappointed the value of his Illinois Senate Seat only drew a paltry $S.ss (one soul, in US dollars, with no change), he has asked Roland Burris to return it.

The trouble, the value has further dropped, and the buyer will need to toss in manhood as well to confirm the purchase. Immediately, this brought to mind Hillary Clinton. She is an expert carpetbagger, but already has take a position, thanks to Kelly Temporary Services' secretary division. There was some confusion in the matter, as she is Secretary of State. Jesse White thought she wanted his job, and offered her a driver's licence to lay off. Husband Bill Clinton reminded him he was unsuccessful with the same thing.

Meanwhile, Mr. Burris continues his "I'm not listening" tour, which involves press avoidance, lies, malarkey and Oprah watching. Burris has declared he has no intention of returning the seat.

Not unexpectedly, MSNBC is delighted to report that Illinois Democrats still believe he might be innocent. They said that about Rod Blagovich too, and so all results are favorable. Their circle will not go unbroken.

Democrats Give Burris the Benefit of the Doubt

Peoria democrat Dave Koehler says before accussing Senator Roland Burris of any wrong doing an investigation should be done.

Eric Clapton : Before You Accuse Me - Live London 2008

Pat Quinn Claims the Pillage, Sleepage and the Dopage in Illinois

The spoils of Illinois' governor war are going to Pat Quinn. A Democrat claiming to be anti-machine, his political Ludditism will be put the the test immediately in a state known more for its machine than its integrity.

Though a Roman Catholic by faith, no one expects his religion to make a difference in his leadership; he is divorced, a Democrat and a lawyer. Faith has not impacted his public life this far. Abortion laws are not expected to change accordingly.

The headaches he inherits will produce the need for much pillage, as well as sleepage.

Former Governor Rod Blagovich recommends the following products that helped him sleep well, starting with House and Philosophy: Everybody Lies (The Blackwell Philosophy and Pop Culture Series). "What Quinn needs to do is think about his health. I run every morning, and found only the fittest reporters could catch me. Be on the lookout for wiretaps."

... ... ... ... ... ...

Sold - Barack Obama's Senate Seat (Recently Off the Market)

Sold - Barack Obama's Senate Seat (Recently Off the Market)
Democrats, finding themselves more negotiable, have purchased the Barack Obama seat. First put on the market by sometime governor and Senate real estate agent Rod Blagovich, it was quickly taken off when Democrats realized Blagovich was not asking enough.

The price was not disclosed, but it is rumored they gave it away in trade for votes to be named later, and possibly a key to executive bathroom, as many became sick during the transaction.

Not Found Here
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/senate_burris

Sale Pending: Illinois Senate Seat - Roland Burris Expected to Stand, or Sit on Dirty Floor

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is expected to give Barack Obama's vacated Senate seat to former state attorney general Roland Burris. With the present economy, and Illinois gambling revenue's down, the price appears to be free.

Mr. Burris is not expected to actually get the seat. All 50 sitting Democratic senators signed a letter by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada warned Blagojevich after his Dec. 9 arrest that Senate Democrats would not seat anyone the governor named to the seat.

They, instead, will make Burris stand, or sit on the floor. Burris was warned that the floor is dirty. Mops, he was reminded, were all used up during George Ryan's era, and are either broken or stained red.

Good wooden chairs are being used, said Reid, to print money in a recycling/laundry effort. Green initiatives are import to Democrats, so they are printing as much green as possible.

Republicans are overjoyed since this makes their time on the couch look good.

Rod Blagojevich Gets New Illinois License Plate

No doubt anticipating his next move, Rod Blagojevich applies for, and gets his Illinois license plate. He slipped former Governor George Ryan a few bucks to make it happen.

Need Temporary Senate Seat Holder: Yes Man Wanted

Need Temporary Senate Seat Holder: Yes Man Wanted
For Limited Time Only: Senate seat. Will pay minimum wage while full-time replacement can be found. Must be Democrat, Illinois resident, willing to have asterisk next to name throughout career. No real power or responsibility, but will have good parking spot in otherwise insignificant parking lot. Boss will likely changed at least once. Skills needed: ability to smile, carry documents with confidence and capacity to duck reporters whenever you hear those two fateful words "Rod Blagojevich." Be able to type 50 words a minute.

Please send resumes and names of relatives presently in Chicago politics:
Lt. Governor Pat Quinn
State Capitol
214 State House
Springfield, IL 62706
Phone: 217-782-7884
Fax: 217-524-6262